Posted in Being the wife, Family memories

I’m a wife, but not “that” kind of wife

“Yay! It’s Monday! Time to click restart and do what we do every week all over again. Can I get a whoop whoop?” This is what I tell myself every Sunday evening as I get all the kids school prep done and my mind into gear for the week. It’s like a psyche up that you do before you go into a race, or get onto a treadmill – you know there’s going to be aches, sweat and tears ahead, but it’s all good for you and makes you a better person. Right? Anyway, like I said I would – back to reminiscing about our journey together as a family…..

When Tim and I were checking each other out and starting to date (a month after we met) we were both heavily involved in the church band. When I look back at the schedule we had, it was completely insane and totally for the season in our lives. Leaders meetings on Monday, Bible School on Tuesdays, Band practices on Wednesdays, Prayer meetings every second Thursday, a “date night” on Friday, Christian Music School on Saturday, Church services twice (or three times) on Sunday – me studying and him working……. How we coped I honestly don’t know.

What was insane, is that it continued like this through out our pre-marriage relationship. So instead of having more “date” dates, we ended up having more time to hang out together and really become great friends, while we moved between each event in our weekly schedule. I think that this lifestyle paved the way for the road in our marriage. Now, once we got married we tried to slow down as much as we could, in terms of schedule – but when you’re young and eager to do what looks “right”, then it doesn’t seem like such a chore or sacrifice. Plus, I kinda knew that I was going to marry a ministry guy anyway – so I was cool with it.

I must be honest though, I thought I was going to marry a pastor back then and when Tim didn’t move in that direction – I thought, “phew, I’m kinda glad because I’m definitely not the ‘Pastors wife’ type”. This being thought with the whole ‘stepford wife’ image in my head – I don’t know why, but there’s this image I had of how a “Minister’s wife” had to be, look and act – and I sure as heck wasn’t ready for that any time soon. It’s such a shame because as the years have gone by I’ve come to realise that that’s what a lot people think and I think that it’s unfair and unattainable as a human being to seem completely perfect and “put together” and for people to expect that of you.

I love thinking about this season because being young and slightly carefree of what people think or expect of you, was liberating and yet at the same time completely immature and irresponsible at times. I said what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted. People’s feelings weren’t my problem but their own – offence is taken not given I always say – but when a loose tongue is free then offence isn’t taken but literally cutting people up and walking away leaving them to bleed.

Wow, this has turned out to be a heavy one – hasn’t it? But in order to continue recording our journey to where we are, these memories and lessons are worth looking back on and seeing how long the road has actually been to where we are now.

So, here’s to lessons learned and the goal of having a fantastic Monday!


I'm a woman finding my way through life as the wife of Tim, the mom to 3 growing kids and trying to maintain some sort of self through it all. I hope you enjoy reading how I journey with my troops through this thing we call life.

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