Posted in Being the wife, Family memories, Timothy

How my flat mate became my husbands’ best friend

Yes, I’m sure you’re thinking with your parents voice in your head – how could you live together before you got married. Well sorry to disappoint you people, but I’m not going to write about Tim and I being best friends but rather my old flat mate, Stet Mushwana who became my husbands’ best friend. One thing you need to know about me is that I come from a very small town in the heart of Zimbabwe, and I grew up in a very sheltered, conservative environment – so sharing a home with a person of the opposite sex was completely out there and something I gently coaxed my parents into being ok with. The conversation with my dad went something like this……

“Dad, I’ve found this amazing place to live in that will cost me half the amount that we’re currently spending at res”

“Oh, great my child, let me know the details and we can look at the possibilities of you moving there”

“Um, Dad – It’s such a great deal, I get to pay half because I’ll be sharing it with another person and that will cut costs on a lot of things like rent, food, electricity etc”

“Great girl, sounds like a plan. Have you found someone to share it with? is this person reputable and true to their word? they’re not going to give you nonsense with money right?”

“Noooooooo, Dad. We have agreed and it’s going to work out perfectly”

“So who is the person?”

“Stet Mushwana, we met at church”

“That’s wonderful my girl, where is she from?”

“Uuuuuummmmmm, Dad – Stet isn’t a ‘she’, He’s a ‘he'”

“Oh, I see – um, does Tim know this guy?”

Anyway, you get the gist – there after my father wanted to know if every male figure in my life knew this guy and what they thought of him and if his baby girl was going to be safe sharing a home with him. (because he was in Zim and I was 2000kms away trying to move in with a boy)

Well, I couldn’t have picked a better flat mate. Stet and I really got along well, but what was even more amazing is that because we stayed together – Tim and Stet spent a lot of time together as well when Tim came to visit. So, ever since then the two of them have grown to be the most amazing friends. So much so that Tim likes to think that he “fixed Stet up” with his current wife and will forever take credit for it.

But, what I love about their relationship is that there has never been a disagreement they haven’t spoken through, there hasn’t been a special moment they haven’t shared without each other. Our kids are now going to be growing up together and it’s because of a bond that started all because I wanted to save money and live out on my own. Yes, I’m taking credit for this relationship because without me – boys, you’d still be band members that drifted apart, and I guess Stet would still be single.

So after spending some time with Stet’s family this weekend, we found a photo that really made me giggle. Have a look.




I'm a woman finding my way through life as the wife of Tim, the mom to 3 growing kids and trying to maintain some sort of self through it all. I hope you enjoy reading how I journey with my troops through this thing we call life.

2 thoughts on “How my flat mate became my husbands’ best friend

  1. Oh Shaveh this was so special to read! Sorry for your and Tim’s loss and thank you for letting us in just a little and to share in a sweet memory too – love that they got to take “after” pic 🙂


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