When you get married, it’s amazing how much of your life becomes snuggled into the knowledge of another being – being around. No matter what the reason is for us being apart, I always find it strange that the bed feels really empty and massive. The house just seems just that much more quiet. Every noise I hear is suddenly the loudest threat. It never gets old.
Just over this past weekend I spent a night away from my hubby, but it’s amazing how the feeling is completely different. That was to take a rest away from the kids, but when he’s away there’s a weird sense of responsibility that I feel to protect what is ours. It’s the strangest thing and yet every time I wrestle myself down and remind myself that I’ve prayed with my kids, I believe in God’s protection and covering so what is this feeling?
Fear, ladies and gentlemen – it always comes down to that silly nagging sense. Does it come in the same way? no, of course not! the thing gets creative and play tricks with my mind. One time it will be about whether the car is locked, or the doors – should I leave a window open? did I leave a window open? What if this happens? or that? Is Tim alright? Did he arrive ok? what will I do if he isn’t? the list goes on and on and on, but you know what?
I have to knock it for six and remind myself that all is well, and that I am not to fear or worry because it can make me sick (literally, physically sick) Anxiety can raise the blood pressure unnecessarily, and create stomach ulcers. If I let it, fear can eat away at me and stop me from resting fully and being peaceful. It can stop me from snuggling into the comfort of knowing that I am safe in the arms of Jesus and know that God’s soveriegnity has it all laid out for what I can handle and when. Phillipians 4:6-7 always has to be recalled in moments like these.
So, head laid down, heart at peace – bring on the good nights sleep.