Posted in A moms opinion, The talk with my kids

The “talk” with my kids: self control

I’m writing this post on an evening after a day where the wheels came off more than once, for more than just one of us (my hand being up as well). It wasn’t the kind you’re thinking of, you know the whole losing my mind and shouting at every single child that crosses my path in my home .– them crying and we all just ending up in a collapsed heap of apologies. Nope, today was one of those, I completely forgot stuff that was meant to be scheduled and so we ended up running around in a frenzy to make sure we pitched up the holes created by “my” wheel coming off.

Anyway, to direct us back to the topic-one of the wheels that came off was Aislyn’s and I can’t describe what happened because she has specifically asked me not to tell anyone (not even God – insert giggle face. Whispering-He kinda knew already sweetie) so, after the horrendously unorganized day, of course the kids become even more tired and irrational but this spin out was strangely different – She inevitable did something that was completely unacceptable that it left Tim and I speechless. So much so that I honestly didn’t know how to discipline her for what she did. 

So, I sensed in the moment that as I was reacting to what she’d done that this wasn’t going to be my call, but hers. She would decide her own punishment to help her realize what she’d done and why she shouldn’t do it again. 

Now, what she did – needed her to take control of her thoughts and actions and make sure that they should stay in check before they have the opportunity to express themselves. So she made her punishment – no Easter eggs on Easter Sunday. 

I agreed and topped it with a little extra grounding. Now, I hear some of you saying, “shoo Shaveh, that’s a bit harsh and cruel to make her go through the day without sharing in the chocolate feast”. I hear you and here comes my point for this post. 

My aim as a parent is to help my children gain control over their actions and exercise self control so that they don’t make silly mistakes. I want my kids to think before they act and take responsibility for their actions once they are made. 

So this lesson came as one to learn about self control. There are going to be many opportunities in their future to exercise this characteristic and their ever growing moral compass. 

So the talk this time around was to explain and help her understand the importance of self control-something only she can do for herself. If she reacts in the moment then she needs to take responsibility. Which she did and I am honesty so proud of her. It’s the hardest thing to ask your child to determine their punishment but I must admit it was rewarding to see her do it, make the decision, and completely understand her actions. 

I know that we’re still in the teen baby steps but I’m really hoping that it’s a walk in the right direction. Any of you teen mommies out there please lend a kind word or two to help us young mommies on our parenting way 😘


I'm a woman finding my way through life as the wife of Tim, the mom to 3 growing kids and trying to maintain some sort of self through it all. I hope you enjoy reading how I journey with my troops through this thing we call life.

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