This past weekend has been one of the most emotional roller coasters I’ve been on in a very long time. And what was even more taxing was that none of the emotion had to do with my insecurities or my “girlie” issues.
My kid got sick and it scared me. When I say it scared me, I mean I really couldn’t sleep properly because I thought my kid might convulse in her sleep.
I wrote last week about a friend of mine losing her son to the swine flu virus. Needless to say, that as much as I was savouring all the precious moments with my children – and just letting them be kids. A virus made its sneaky entrance into my daughters little body. Guys! It was literally over night. We went to sleep on the Wednesday night and our little girl woke us up at 4am to say that her head was sore. She was in tears and it was then, that I realized that something was really wrong. She doesn’t ever complain about being sick, so when she did this – my mommy radar went up and clicked into fix it mode.
I gave her what would normally work to ease head pain and she fell asleep but then when we woke up that morning – the kid was burning up! And I mean literally hot to the touch. Her eye color also had changed (which is also a clear indicator for us that something was hectically off). Reading through the list of symptoms to watch out for in the Swine flu virus, I decided to dose and wait an hour or so and see how it went. Well, she ate something (which is a good sign right?) and then…… proceeded to toss her cookies while she was asleep on the couch.
My heart rate increased to like 130bpm, I tried to remain calm and clean up the mess. Also try and back hand any fears of what could happen. Thank the Lord for my mother in law, who assisted me with the spilage and laundry.
Sore head – check.
Vomiting – check.
High temperature that doesn’t come down – check.
My kid was literally racing down the road to full blown swine flu and I was at a loss what to do. Our thermometer was lost, my husband had the car, my kid is burning up, throwing up and listless. This is when I whip out the WhatsApp and message my mom to pray for my kid. (Which I had been doing since 4am) I honestly didn’t know what to do. Come on Lord, what do I do?
She proceeded to say she was still sore, but felt better after throwing up. So I thought that has to be a good sign.
Ok, let’s just pause to explain my feelings versus my faith.
It’s in these moments that as a born again believing Christian – I did so many things. First I asked God to heal my kid. Then I was like, Lord help me to trust You and stay calm and wise. (Then all of the Greys Anatomy episodes with the people who throw away medicine and let their kid suffer, came to mind) Then I asked God whether I should take my kid to the doc or wait it out for a little bit more. (Because he’s created doctors for a reason and medicine as well) My feelings wanted me to run for the hills. I started to realize that I could be in a the same boat as my friend and actually lose my kid. I was screaming inside. And so I prayed, and then consulted with some nurse friends of mine. Rollercoaster? I know!
So I went to buy a thermometer and tried to get suppositories for her, but needed to have a prescription since she’s out of the age window of the kiddy ones. So I got home, and finally took her temperature…………
40 degrees Celsius!
To cut the story short and reduce the drama – from Thursday evening into Friday morning, my kids’ body didn’t go below 39.5degrees. So when we woke up the next day, I phoned my heart out and tried to get her to a doctor. No one had anything earlier than 12 o’clock and I was on the brink of taking her to the ER. Then our paediatricians receptionist said that she would slot us in any gap as soon as we got there.
So, I bundle up my burning up kid and my other two munchkins-in the rain- and took my seven year old feverish child to the doc. It was hard to watch her not have the strength to walk to the docs rooms, lie around and just be down right sick. But I needed to have direction on this thing and we were going to nail it. He assessed her and relieved my soul in a way that I honestly felt guilty for feeling. (This is the Christian part of me here) she didn’t have Swine flu but a virus that was mainly focusing its energy into her head. He prescribed meds for us to give to her and off we went. But he warned to watch the fever and if it didn’t go down then we should call.
Ok, now that we knew what we were actually dealing with I felt I could take a step away from the scary mommy thoughts. So let’s pause again….
What I’ve kept from you is, that both of my girls were due to compete in their South Zone Gymnastics trials on the Saturday/Sunday. So as much as scary mommy was having the thoughts about losing her kid, there was ‘sport mommy’ talking with ‘finance mommy’ about how much the competition had cost, how hard she had worked, she’s going to be devistated if she misses it, how do I communicate with the coach, when do I make the call to cancel, etc.
So all through this ordeal, my kid has been asking if she’ll be allowed to go and compete……. unpause.
Guys, when your kid has a love for a sport or activity and is looking at you with tired eyes – it was breaking my heart to watch and try not to promise or make the decision for her. So it came down to taking her meds, resting 100% and eating as much as she could handle (which turned out to be strawberries, half an orange and 3 sweets, with juice). And with the decision to compete or not, based on her temperature in the morning and how she felt.
Well the meds helped. She was chatty again. Our house was so quiet for the two days, even her sister was missing her and trying to make her smile (she made the Jesus loves me sticker). Her brother didn’t know what to do with himself because his playmate was man down.
Anyway, meds taken, temperature at 37.6. I put her to bed with the hope she’d be right as rain in the morning. I proceeded to walk into the kitchen, whisper a firm prayer and chatted to my Maker. I was like, “she’s worked so hard to get to this level and she doesn’t need to be sick. You’re sovereign and can sort her out, so I’m believeing that in the morning my baby is going to get dressed and go and compete.” I then felt Him tell me to command my authority that I have in Jesus, over the virus and tell it to step. I was like, “the kid is asleep, I’m not going to go and deliberately wake her up only to command a virus out of her. You can do it” (please understand that my relationship with God/Holy spirit/Jesus – the three in 1 – is uniquely my relationship just like every other relationship I have. So you’re reading how I talk to Him)
Anyway, I finally go into the room and firmly whisper my prayer and do what I believe He wanted me to do. Honestly, it felt stupid to do it-but I did. What have I got to lose, right? But I did it with conviction and faith in what I was doing then walked out and left my snoring troop.
Saturday morning rolls in and my kid is tired, but not as bad and her temperature was still high. But she had it in her to compete and so, believing it was the right thing to do, we got her all ready and with the gentle conversation and encouragement that she didn’t need to go for gold, but do her best and enjoy it.
With extra jerseys, socks, hot water bottle in tow she registered and I sent her off. My father had called to pray with her, I was praying, my husband and mothers all prayed for this kid. Mainly that she wouldn’t pass out on the floor.
So, she competes right. All of us on our last nerve because we can see her balance is out, her strength is really low….. guys! No joke, we were biting our nails for this kid.
She does Bar, clocks a 9.3
She does beam, clocks 8.95
She does floor, clocks 8.30
Then Vault and gets an 8.7
People!!! Our kid gets enough points to get a gold medal and then comes fifth over all!! What the what!!!! We were all over the moon and extremely proud of her endurance and an amazing achievement under the circumstances. Well, that’s what I thought anyway.
She didn’t need meds at all after the competition, and hasn’t needed them since. I’ve just been obedient with the one set but other than that my kid literally went into the competition sick and came out completely fine.
That, my friends, may not be the typical Hallelujah-‘I’m healed instantly’ kinda miracle. But it was definitely God showing up and taking something scary and making it into gold for both my kid and myself.