When I’m so not motivated to be motivated

I don’t know about you but there are so many days when I get to the end of them with my shoulders hanging and tired out of my mind wondering, “What did I actually achieve today?”

Being a full time mom and “home educator” is full of it’s rewards, but the rewards are like the polaroids of my life. In between it’s all the ugly mess and hard work where there’s no time to actually capture and show everyone. I mean really, as much as we all like the idea – who really wants to see all of that. Also, if I’m really honest with myself, do I want all of my dirty laundry, flaws and shortcomings out there for all to see? Uuuuuummmmmmm, that’d be a no.

But like I wrote, it’s what I really don’t want to show off – but I made a decision that this space would be filled with as much “laundry” as is possible to portray the imperfections of our daily life as well as the “picture perfects.”

So, back to feeling unmotivated. I actually can’t believe it. I look at myself and also sit and think to myself, “why? What’s wrong with you? Two weeks ago you had the energy of two parents and now, look at you! Sluggish, lazy and not wanting to do anything, for anyone!” (queue eye roll, and sucking of teeth sound) I have a list of things to do, to make and to prepare, but do I want to do any of it – nooooooooooo. Shame on me!

Yes! I’m self condemning, and it’s the worst. I say this because it’s all true and I can’t even answer myself. You’d think that after all of these years that I’d know myself, right? That I’d be able to fist pump or pep talk my way out of my slump.

And, yes I hear you about having some quiet time and seeking the Lord – but even there I’d just moan my way through it all and then feel bad that I didn’t even take time to listen.

Sigh! What’s with this zone? I know I’m not bipolar, and I don’t have any chemical imbalance, so it must be some people’s average way of living, right?

I get like this at least once a month (and no, it aint “that” time, ok) I’ll wallow in this zone of unnecessary self pity and slack behavior and then boing! I’m back again and the energy is all up and we’re on point.

Ok, as I’m looking at this post, I’m just moaning. But, meh – it’s one of those days. I guess I’ll close my eyes tonight, after binging even more series and hope that after a good night’s rest (hopefully) that tomorrow will smack me with a surge of vooma and I’ll be motivated again.

Do you get like this? What do you do? Do you ride it out? Let me know, I’d love to learn from you and it just might work for me too – ya never know.