I think I go through this “feeling” a lot, as a mother. As you know, I spend a lot of time with my kids, but there are days when I just can’t stand them. I’m not going to be diplomatic here – it’s my safe space and if you want to use my words against me, ever! God be with you!
It’s on days like today, where I know that I am completely responsible for these three unique treasures of mine – but I look at them and think, “if you just say Mom, one more time……”(eye twitch) It is at this point that the toilet seems like the best retreat and the only spot where I will be left alone, right? WRONG – they say my name through the door, for things I can not control or even help with from behind the door.
It’s nuts!! So it is at this point that I literally ask them, “please leave me alone…… just for a few minutes” and bless them, they do – but then literally 3 minutes later, “are you done mom?”
Why? Why? Why? I ask you with tears in my eyes! WHY!!!!!???????
It is at this point that I feel like I’m running the longest marathon of my life and I muscle up the strength to open the door, end my game of whatever I was playing on my phone and see to the needs of my kids.
You know what? I used to feel guilty about getting to this point, I really did. I thought to myself, “you chose this life, you knew what you were getting into – people say it all the time – they can’t manage being with their kids all the time. So suck it up! And do what you chose to do!” right? But I am now at a place where I’m like, “NO! If I was working at a job and I was really irritated by someone or didn’t like working with someone, I wouldn’t have to tolerate it. I could wangle my way around my schedule and completely avoid that person and just use email or whatever to deal with them”
And so, it is with that thought that I leave you – today I’m done with these three, and will be avoiding them and sending instructions via email so that they don’t feel abandoned. Mom, out!