What’s with this Parenting Journey?

I remember being a new parent – when we got pregnant for the first time and honestly, I thought I had it all worked out. Read the books, apply the techniques and all should be well. Right? Don’t sit there and pretend like you haven’t thought that at least once – parent or not – we’ve all been through that phase of “I could do that, what’s the big deal? It can’t be that hard”

Honestly, with our first little human – I thought I had it waxed. The kid did well with the techniques we applied and we’ve enjoyed every bit of the journey. Why am I writing this part first, you may ask – well after having that sense of “we’ve got this” all of these years, laying the foundations and relationship building blocks there after – I am now at a place of “what the heck?”

I know lots of parents go through this phase when their child becomes a teen. I’m not saying I don’t recognize my daughter but I’m a little lost as to where to next – and I think this is the battle, right?

I can feel myself coming to a place of realizing that as much as I’ve built all of these aspect to our relationship and friendship through these years – I am not guaranteed the outcome I had hoped for or, let me rephrase – what I have pictured in my head.

I know what my desire is when she’s an adult but the journey to that desired end is paved with stones shaped and coloured in ways I have no clue how to navigate.

There are times when I can literally see my teenage self through her eyes, rolling them violently and just thinking harsh thoughts towards my parent. (me in this case) But, on the outside being completely submissive and compliant. I don’t know about you, but this scares me. Not in a way that I fear for my life, but in a way that leaves me freaking out and wondering what went wrong and what am I doing wrong.

To be honest, this blog post is more a rant that anything else. I have no solutions – because who does with their unique relationship with their children/teen. I have been told to take it one step at a time. Always maintain the goal of relationship but yoh! Guys – it’s not an easy road.

I often have to catch myself in mid thought or sentence because I have to now, remind myself that I am not dealing with a little toddler here. I’m dealing with an adult about to bloom. It’s make or break time. I don’t know about you other “preteen” /”teen” moms – but what’s your plan? How are you approaching this stage?