I'm a woman finding my way through life as the wife of Tim, the mom to 3 growing kids and trying to maintain some sort of self through it all. I hope you enjoy reading how I journey with my troops through this thing we call life.
A few weeks ago I wrote about my relationship with my oldest daughter, and it’s amazing how many moms reached out and shared their stories with their “older” kids. One thing I have heard from all of them is that – they will always be your kids, no matter how old they become. Plus, there’s definitely a natural pull to doing things their way and better than you.
Before I begin this post, I should actually send a little shout out to my friend Luchae from “My Spreadsheet Brain”. The last 3 posts have been completely motivated by her and her love for the written word. She challenged some of us mommies to a few blog posts over the last and coming few weeks – and needless to say – it’s really motivated me and got my writing butt back into gear. If you haven’t seen her work then do yourself a favour – she is easy to read and what she talks about, we’re all thinking about. (she doesn’t know it, but I’ve been reading her site for about 6 years now)
Hello lovely human beings – let’s grow. As an upfront disclaimer, prepare yourself for some hard talk. Right now we have to not care if we completely loath the way we look, or what we feel like in our own bodies – I’m of the opinion that once we became parents, there’s certain parts of us that aren’t about us anymore. In fact, not just certain parts – a lot of parts, because in order to raise the next generation well – we have to lead by example. (but, if this does trigger you, please look into those feelings and talk to someone. It can only make you grow and become a fuller and more healed human being)
Ok, so like I said – let’s put on our big people underwear but I’m not saying that our insecurities aren’t valid and our history is null and void, and that we have to have it completely together. No darling, dish about that stuff with your adult friends. But what I am saying is that we have to become so much more aware of how we envelope our “stuff” around our little humans.
So, as a blogging family – we have been challenged to do a blog post every week. This week we are sharing a childhood memory. When I was thinking about this – there were sooooooo many memories that popped up and then I have to go through that filing cabinet and decide which one would not only be appropriate to share with you but also something worth writing down.
The way I’d like to describe how 2021 started was similar to the feeling of an old type writer handle, that you have to push aside to get to the next line. It was a little bit of a “meh” feeling. I did try to pump myself up and dive deep into optimism and, and, and – but I honestly got quite lost in the instant busy-ness of the year – literally as the gun went off I was out of the blocks on the go.
I thought I was going to run hard – do it all, make it “the best year ever”. I mean why not? We’ve started renovating our house – its going to be the way I’ve wanted it for years. The kids are in an amazing place and have the capacity to do all of the things – but, whenever I sat down with my heart and my thoughts to seek out “my word for the year” – all I could hear the Lord gently whispering in my ear was, “turn around, face the corner – drown out the noise and focus. Focus on me.”
I remember being a new parent – when we got pregnant for the first time and honestly, I thought I had it all worked out. Read the books, apply the techniques and all should be well. Right? Don’t sit there and pretend like you haven’t thought that at least once – parent or not – we’ve all been through that phase of “I could do that, what’s the big deal? It can’t be that hard”
Honestly, with our first little human – I thought I had it waxed. The kid did well with the techniques we applied and we’ve enjoyed every bit of the journey. Why am I writing this part first, you may ask – well after having that sense of “we’ve got this” all of these years, laying the foundations and relationship building blocks there after – I am now at a place of “what the heck?”
I know that your birthday was yesterday and to be honest it was a lot of fun – just like you. There is so much that has happened in one year and I so wish we had cameras following us every day to record the amazing things that you do and say.
Over this last year you have taught me – as your mother – to trust my instinct even more. You have taught me to be decisive about decisions with your needs. I have learned that your well-being is priority over just “hoping it will get better”.
As so many of us are getting ready to close the door on a year that has pretty much, ripped our hearts out and flipped them over and thrown it back in again – I wanted to come on here and just put down my thoughts and gratitude for 2020.
At the end of every year, our family continue with a tradition that we like to call “highlights and low lights”. We do it at every dinner table meal we have at the end of as many days as we are able to. It allows us, as a family to view the world from the eyes of another and to look outside of ourselves and appreciate what another values and has been hurt by. So to culminate the year, we do it at the end of the year as well as a huge summary.
I woke up this morning and after hearing what the President addressed us on last night, I really felt that as a grown up I need to find ways to destress without having to leave my home. I then had this epiphony – I’m not too much of a drinker but I do know that lots of people consume an alcoholic drink or two to relieve their stress and “take the edge off” to be able to cope with the coming day or week and so on.