The way I’d like to describe how 2021 started was similar to the feeling of an old type writer handle, that you have to push aside to get to the next line. It was a little bit of a “meh” feeling. I did try to pump myself up and dive deep into optimism and, and, and – but I honestly got quite lost in the instant busy-ness of the year – literally as the gun went off I was out of the blocks on the go.
I thought I was going to run hard – do it all, make it “the best year ever”. I mean why not? We’ve started renovating our house – its going to be the way I’ve wanted it for years. The kids are in an amazing place and have the capacity to do all of the things – but, whenever I sat down with my heart and my thoughts to seek out “my word for the year” – all I could hear the Lord gently whispering in my ear was, “turn around, face the corner – drown out the noise and focus. Focus on me.”
I know that your birthday was yesterday and to be honest it was a lot of fun – just like you. There is so much that has happened in one year and I so wish we had cameras following us every day to record the amazing things that you do and say.
Over this last year you have taught me – as your mother – to trust my instinct even more. You have taught me to be decisive about decisions with your needs. I have learned that your well-being is priority over just “hoping it will get better”.
As so many of us are getting ready to close the door on a year that has pretty much, ripped our hearts out and flipped them over and thrown it back in again – I wanted to come on here and just put down my thoughts and gratitude for 2020.
At the end of every year, our family continue with a tradition that we like to call “highlights and low lights”. We do it at every dinner table meal we have at the end of as many days as we are able to. It allows us, as a family to view the world from the eyes of another and to look outside of ourselves and appreciate what another values and has been hurt by. So to culminate the year, we do it at the end of the year as well as a huge summary.
I can’t even begin to explain how immensely proud I am to announce the celebration of our Iraina! Every time I get to this point in the year, I am in awe of how much growth, maturity, intelligence, strength, grace, confidence, beauty and so much more – that this precious human has acquired. I know that this is a blog post containing a lot of words, but once you know her – you know that there is no bottling her up or containing within sentences and phrases.
(as a disclaimer to those reading – I like to write these birthday posts as a letters to my children for them to read when they’re older – so I’m switching modes)
This is it! I’m finally getting what’s been in my heart out onto a page for all of you to read and journey with me…… or should I say us?…… through.
I remember when I was a new parent, even a newlywed, having all of these incredible women around me that I could look up to and ask questions and tap into for the knowledge I needed for those very precious new moments in my life. Those women have always been there, even to this day and I value their experience and their advice, input and example. They have helped shape my thinking as a wife, mom and woman.
I was sitting and thinking about marriages (like I like to do often enough when I’m just sitting around doing nothing but wait for my kid to finish swimming) and I thought through some of the reasons why some marriages fall apart or fail. I’m the kind of person that likes to think this way because I like to analyze where my marriage is at according to the information I gather and see how I can improve or dodge various potholes that can so easily happen. I’m not out here criticizing, (I don’t have time to be knee deep in the drama of it all) but rather observing, taking notes and applying various theories to where we are at.
Over the years, Timothy and I have found that our relationship has cruised along quite swimmingly. This year, April 2020 marked our 15th year of being married and we’re happy to say we’ve survived many a high and low. But at the beginning of this year, we came to a point of realising that we need to stop taking it for granted and truly investing in our relationship and connection.
This parenting journey is constantly filled with this blessed word we use – Change. “An act or process through which something becomes different”
Being my own human self, I am in this constant state – becoming different in so many ways. But today I don’t want to talk about myself – I want to highlight ONE of the constant barrages of changes happening in our little family.
I wrote about it a few months, if not a few years ago – about how our three children seem to hit a wave of change all at the same time but in different stages.
What’s the big deal with colour anyway? Please know that as you read this you’re probably going to bounce between agreeing with me, disagreeing with me or just being indifferent – and in all honesty either one of these responses is absolutely fine. Why? Because you are an individual, with your own point of view and perspective – I respect that.
Have you ever looked at your life and wondered, “how did we end up here?”
Now, this question can be asked in both a positive light and a negative light – so I bet you’ve asked this at least once in either way, right?
What is it about life that makes us get to these points? All of us have some element of control when it comes to our current circumstances. I say an element, because the circumstance can’t always change, but it’s how we respond or choose to look at it – is what we have the control over. Continue reading ““How did we end up here?””→